


Voar

by victoriae350



Series: Darkness of My Soul [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Romance, Sith Training, The Dark Side of the Force
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:20:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22381717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/victoriae350/pseuds/victoriae350
Summary: "Only the brave shall die, because only the brave are foolish." Tie pilot Ross has two rules she abides by to survive the flying for the First Order: Keep your head down, and do nothing foolish. But when Kylo Ren discovers force sensitivity within her, she must quickly rewrite her rules of survival.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Darkness of My Soul [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1611118
Kudos: 5





	Voar

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: I saw Rise of Skywalker over the Christmas break, and it's distracting me from my originals. This story is meant to help me flush the distractions out of my system so I can get back to working on my original stories. There will a lot of canon breaking here. I apologize! If that bugs you, please find another story to read.

The ship exploded, sending debris everywhere. Ross watched the tie pilot she just saved from the enemy fly into the opposite direction. Her helmet, large and heavy on her head, provided words and information she could see. This was programmed into her helmet. So if she took it off, she wouldn't be able to see it anymore. What she had been using for a while to take down the enemies, or to help her take down enemies.

"There a couple on the east end," someone said over the intercom, "they're trying to take out the guns. Hightail it over there before our ship is left defenseless."

Ross' ship followed the other tie fighters around the dreadnought. She recognized the Resistance ships, shooting at their larger crafts. They were flying out of formation. She aimed the guns on her ship and fired. Most missed, but the last hit the craft and it exploded. From where she sat, she could see other tie fighters flying around and aiming at other enemy ships. But since they started, the number of enemies flying around in space had decreased significantly.

The last of the ships exploded, debris going everywhere. Intercoms mumbled about the end of the mission and ordered the others to return to the base. Ross' breath hitched in the back of her throat. She steered the ship around and back to Star Destroyer which hovered quietly above them. She would never get used to the sight of it. Heavy guns, a massive window that let her see into the command room, and a reminder of the deadliness of the First Order.

She followed the rest of the Tie fighters to the landing strip, touching down on the ground. She took a deep breath. The helmet they forced her to wear felt like a sauna. Sweat stuck her clothes to her skin. The helmet was heavy. It felt like lugging a rock on her head everywhere. She shut down her engine, opened the top hatch to her ship, and shut it behind her after she clambered out.

Half a dozen tie fighters were in the general vicinity, getting out of their ships. Ross maneuvered around the other ships and took a spot in line next to other Tie Pilot's. She didn't utter a word, but neither did the others. Moments later, all the remaining Tie Pilots were in line. No one said anything. Silence plagued them.

And then he came in. Their boss, Black-010. Another Tie fighter, their captain. Like the others, she never saw his face. She only heard his abnormally high-pitched voice, but it instilled fear into all of them. The way her fellow fighters shuffled a little when he entered the room, or how everyone suddenly stood a little straighter.

This was the moment of truth. When everyone would find out if they did well or not. The Tie Pilot paced back and forth in front of the fighters.

Ross listened to the echoing footsteps of Black 010. He walked with a force and might, his back straight as if with confidence. The breaths of her fellow tie fighters were steady as Black 010 nodded, "The enemy scum didn't know what they were doing when they attacked our ship."

An instant relief fell upon the group of Tie fighters. It was a vibe of relief as tension remained but lessened. Ross' heartbeat raced, her palms were growing sweaty.

"Drills at 0800. That will be all." And he retreated down the path he came from. Relief washed over the group. That was the closest they would get to a compliment. Other members of the squad left the chamber, heading into other parts of the ship.

Ross followed them mostly. Their footsteps echoed throughout the halls, but she broke off from the group some time later and started weaving in between the halls. She passed Stormtroopers walking in formation. But the tension within her body did not release until she entered her quarters, and the door shut behind her. Her quarters were small, like everyone else's. Though Tie fighters didn't have to share rooms, that didn't mean the rooms were of a high quality. Standing in the middle of the room meant you could access everything within arm's reach. And there was only room for the uniform, so no one else had excessive clothing. Not that they needed it. All tie fighters were on alert, and could be summoned at any moment. So she never took the uniform off. And she had to bear the smell no matter how bad it got.

Ross took off her helmet. The moment the air met her skin, she felt an intense amount of relief. Like she had spent her entire life living in desert planets and was feeling her first instant of refreshing air. Sweat fell down the sides of her face. She looked into the reflection of the helmet. She could see her hair sticking to the sides of her face. Ross also noted the bags under her eyes. She set the helmet down, lay down and fell asleep.

When Ross awoke and couldn't go back to sleep, food felt like the best choice. But every time Ross ate the ship's food, she would swear off eating. It was always so dry; it was difficult to swallow or swimming in oil. Ross had thought a first order mess hall could afford some better quality food, and this seemed a good time as any to improve it. She knew no one would listen to her. After she grabbed her food from the mess hall, she sat down.

She was busy stuffing food in her mouth when she caught wind of a conversation at the other end of the table.

"You're new," the older worker said, "you need to hide in plain sight. Don't give anyone a reason to want to crack down on you. Just do your job, and don't speak. Especially not now."

"Why? What's special about now?"

The worker lowered his voice, though Ross was close enough to hear them, "Kylo Ren is here."

"Krylo Ren?" The women swallowed, "the sith apprentice."

"It's _Kylo_ Ren," The older man said, leaning in closer, "He's got a temper as nasty as the old emperor. You don't want to be caught near him when it goes off."

"He can't be _that_ bad."

"A friend caught him tearing a part one of the control panels with his light saber," the older gentleman said. Ross stopped sipping her water. She wanted to hear more, to hear the fine details, but the gentleman didn't divulge the rest of the story, "and Kylo Ren choked another to death over trivial details a day later."

"That's terrible."

"If you value your life, do what you're told," the older gentleman said, "don't ask questions. And maybe you'll last."

They discussed other matters, and Ross began tuning the conversation out. There was a reason she, among a few others, had been there for as long as they had. They'd learned how to keep their head down and do only enough to hide within the success and failures of others. Nothing too great, and nothing too bad. Just the right amount of both. Shoveling more food into her mouth, Ross stood up and left the cafeteria without touching her trash. She didn't care to throw it away. There were workers in the cafeteria who would do that for her.

Leaving the cafeteria and circling around the corner, Ross stopped. Down the hall was a towering figure with his hand out, like he was choking someone but he wasn't touching anyone. Another had his hand on a helmet, but the helmet was slipping from his grasp. He clutched at his throat with the other hand.

Ross took a step back. The man's helmet fell from his hand as he tried to grab for the Commander. The Commander whispered something into the soldier's ear without releasing his grip. Ross swallowed, horrified by the scene. The motion of his hands as he continued to strangle the man. The strangler could only be one person. Kylo Ren. The apprentice of the Supreme Leader, neither of whom she had seen up close. Or had any desire to see up close. She backed up, and rushed in the opposite direction. Even if she felt a sting of fear upon witnessing the event, she had heard of Kylo Ren's temper. How he carved people and machinery in his rage. How he could kill someone with a flick of his wrist.

She ducked back into a back room, heaving as she listened closely for the sound of footsteps. Ross fell against the wall and slid to the floor. She tried to calm her breathing, focusing specifically on what was going on outside the door.

And then she heard it, footsteps approaching from one side of the hall outside the room. The footsteps stopped in front of her door. She pushed herself against the wall. Panic welled up inside her. A moment of silence passed, and she thought she heard the door creak open.

"Sir," A voice said from the other side of the door. One she didn't recognize, but she let out a sigh of relief, "the supreme leader wants you in the command centre."

Footsteps rescinded until she heard nothing but silence. She had to remind herself to take her helmet everywhere from then on. Another rule to add to the rule book.

She took a deep breath, got up and poked her head out the door. There was no one else in the halls. She scurried out, and as she walked towards her quarters she said, "Fear is my friend. Only the brave shall die, because only the brave are foolish." She repeated that all the way to her room and every waking minute before she finally drifted off to sleep.

A terrifying blare of an alarm awoke her from deep sleep. She got up and tumbled out of bed. This was the reason why she slept with her uniform on. It was not yet time for drills, so the only other reasons for such an awakening was enemy fire. A lot of enemy fire. Ross grabbed her helmet, and slammed it on to her head as she stumbled outside the door, and rushed to take her place. People ran through the halls. Stormtroopers didn't break formation as they scurried up and down the halls.

The launching pad was chaos. People scrambled to get on ships. Men and women ran from the launching pad to give the ship's room to take off. Ross tumbled into the first ship she could find, shut the door and got everything ready for takeoff. Her ship took off, and she guided it outside the landing pad. As she left the safety of the ship, she was astounded by what she saw. Enemy pilots were everywhere. She wasn't sure who or what they were, neither did she care. Other Tie pilots were shooting at them, so she would too. She started following formations, taking orders over intercom from her command chain, and shooting at the enemy. A regular mission. A normal day.

Suddenly, she lost focus. Something was reaching out to her, beckoning her forward. And something within her stirred. Something that had always been there. Something unexplainable. Her vision blurred, and suddenly she was somewhere else. She watched someone that looked like her sit in a ship. Not the ship she had been piloting, a different one. The person wore a black cloak and stared into space. Something haunted their eyes. But before she could get a good look at their face, she was back in her ship. Snapped out of a daze. The mother-ship in front of her was falling, and people were screaming over the intercom. Ross took a deep breath, and started shooting left, right and centre.

The enemie's numbers dwindled, and they retreated into the void of space. But the incomprehensible yelling over the intercom meant something in and of itself. She had missed her moment to stay hidden, and she would get it back at the landing chamber. She dove the ship in. She was the last one to land. But she had barely landed, and opened the door to her vessel, and a man was glaring at her.

Her superior.

"You," Black 010 exclaimed, storming over to her before she had time to get out of her ship. She quickly undid her belt, hoping she'd be able to run before he caught her. But it was too late. He grabbed her shoulder and aggressively pulled her out of the ship, "you got most of the squadron killed."

Ross said nothing. She didn't even look the man in the eye. He threw her down to the ground and began kicking her. "And they have destroyed half the fleet, you worthless piece of filth. Tie pilots don't grow on trees."

Her stomach heaved. Her body was aching. It was like her inners were on fire. The man stopped kicking her, but she heard footsteps. Silence penetrated. The only thing she could hear was the set of footsteps. She slowly turned to look, and there before her was the man she'd seen earlier. Kylo Ren. It was difficult to tell at first because he had a helmet on, and his outfit was dark like a lot of other uniforms. But she could never forget the towering figure of a man murdering another without touching him.

"Is this the Tie pilot responsible for this mess?"

Her stomach fell as her boss responded, "Yes, sire. I assure you, this wasn't my doing. She was not-" And then he stopped talking. She could hear him spitter and spatter, like he couldn't catch his breath. Like something was blocking his airways. Like the soldier she'd seen him murder previously.

Black 010 continued to claw at his neck, trying to free himself from the invisible force blocking his airway. And then he gasped for breath. And his chest rose and fell as normal.

Kylo Ren leaned down before her. She didn't dare look at him, fear washed over her like a wave lapping against the ocean. She grimaced and suddenly her vision blurred. It was difficult to breathe. She gasped for breath.

Her feet left the ground. She grabbed her throat instinctively. Her vision blurred. She couldn't see anything, and so she tried to fight it. For a moment, there was a bit of relief but it was only slight. For she still was gasping for air. Her head pounded.

He let her go, and she plummeted to the floor, hitting it and rolling a little. She grabbed her neck as she gasped for air. Kylo Ren knelt before her, watching her. She could see it out of the corner of her eye but she didn't dare look at him. And then it was like someone was digging into her head.

Scraping at her. Her head felt like it would explode. She couldn't think. She couldn't fight it.

Kylo Ren said nothing. But he didn't let up. Others watched from around them and if they were talking, she couldn't hear them. Tears blurred her vision, she just wanted this to end. Moments passed, and the pressure ceased, "Take Black-1524 to interrogation."

Stormtroopers grabbed her arms and hauled her onto her feet. Her vision still blurred, they dragged her away towards the interrogation chamber. That meant one thing.

She wouldn't survive the night.


End file.
